Ramblings

Here it is almost Thanksgiving, and I haven’t blogged since August.  I guess you could say I haven’t been inspired.  Or you could say I’ve been busy.  Both are true, though I’ve been inspired in other ways, just not necessarily the desire to blog way.  For a while I thought, “I’ll blog after I get that one song finished.” And then that song was finished.  And then I thought, “I’ll blog after I get that one song recorded.”  And since that’s still not done, I guess that could be my excuse.  But in reality, I just haven’t felt like it.

But here’s the thing…  I may not be the best writer in the world, but I do enjoy writing.  And I also think it’s important to flex those muscles, especially if one wants to continue writing in any form.  Whether I have to write for work (I really don’t do much of that), or for songs (I don’t have to, but sometimes I like to), or for some other unlisted reason, if I don’t practice, I don’t get better.  Or, I get worse!  And that’s just unnecessary.

So blogging it is.  Since it’s the season of gratitude, I did consider writing another gratitude-focused blog as I did last year.  But I don’t want to repeat myself.  So, in this case, I’m going to focus on music.  It is supposedly a songwriting blog, after all.  And by songwriting I mean music in general.  One must be liberal in their translations when it comes to artistic things, right?!  🙂

First I will mention that I have a song in the works.  That is, I have a lot of partial songs in the works, but I’m not being that proactive about them.  But this one is my personal favorite right now.  It’s a song that I find really entertaining.  As in, it makes me laugh.  Those who’ve heard me play around with it a little have for the most part given me the same feedback, so that makes me excited about it, as I know not everyone shares my sense of humor!  An acquaintance of mine who’s in a local band here in Seattle, The Local Strangers, has generously offered to help me record it.  And, he helped me with the final pieces, too.  As always, it’s much easier for me when there’s someone else to work with, and I’m really grateful when someone who knows what they’re doing is willing to work with me, who doesn’t have that same knowledge!  Unfortunately, we haven’t recorded it yet as both of our schedules have been crazy busy.  But, hopefully after the New Year, and then there will definitely be a blog post!  Watch out, world!  I have a song to take you by storm!

OK, not really…

So that’s the news on the songwriting front.  In other music fronts, it occurs to me that it’s time to update the list of super-awesome music out there.  I don’t do that too often—I’m not a reviewer, after all—but I was just making some mixes for a friend who wanted new music and it occurred to me that I have a ton of music that I’ve been introduced to over the last few years.  So many new artists!  Some new to me, and some new to the scene, and yes, some of it is definitely Seattle-centric.  But either way, it’s a great reminder that creativity is ever-occurring, and inspiration is truly unending.  Hopefully some of these artists will inspire you, if you’re feeling that creative lull:

The Civil Wars

Allen Stone

The Local Strangers

Hot Bodies In Motion (I’m pretty sure that’s ironic!  But their music is great, regardless)

The Head and the Heart (yes, they’ve been mentioned on here before)

Edie Carey

The Swell Season (not that new anymore, but still worth checking out this duo from the movie “Once”)

Stacey Kent

Kevin Long

Ivan & Alyosha

Sam and Ruby

Alice Smith

Melissa McClelland (on Sarah McLachlan’s tour last year—saw the show twice and she’s excellent)

Quiet Company

Javier Colon (ok, so he was the winner of “The Voice,” and I’m not ashamed to admit is version of “Fix You” by Coldplay totally made me cry)

Duffy

A Fine Frenzy

St. Paul de Vence

Tara Kelly Kearns (OK, so that’s my sister, but she’s amazing and should she record anything beyond the song we wrote together, “Frayed,” I promise you would agree!  And if that happens, there will be an immediate blog post.)

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Joy and Thanks. Thanks and Joy.

 

It’s the start of Thanksgiving week, and so I, along with many others from the US, am considering what I’m grateful for.  There have been years when this has been rather challenging, but there has always been something I could name (even if I couldn’t feel it right then).  This year, thankfully, I am able to see and feel the bounty clearly.  Not because anything in my life has changed dramatically, but simply because I’ve been prepping for the holidays since June.  Well, not exactly.  But I have been focusing on claiming my joy, no matter what the circumstance or time of year.

As I mentioned in previous posts, back in June I lost my voice.  I lost it big-time.  I lost it on the night of a small performance.  That small performance was quite horrible, and that’s not an exaggeration.  In the following weeks, although I felt physically better, the voice thing was lingering on.  I had to cancel one church solo job I had, and the performance I did in late July, while infinitely better than early June, was still shaky.  Pitchy.  Blech.  I’m sorry for anyone that was attending and is also reading this.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t until I received the recording that I realized it…

Well, it’s almost the end of November, and somewhere along the way, the voice went back to normal.  At some point I stopped focusing on it, and just focused on claiming my joy.  I alluded to some thoughts I was having around this in another post, but basically, I had to come to a decision that no matter my circumstance or situation, I had every right to know joy.  Feel joy.  Live joy.  This was a somewhat tough concept for me to grasp, but thankfully I was pretty determined.  In the end, what it comes down to is that regardless of my status in the world—career, financial, relationship, friendship, family, talent, etc.—I was created in joy.  If that’s how I was created, it can’t leave.  It has never left.  My understanding of it, my belief in it, etc., may alter my thinking about this, but the fact itself remains.

Wow.

I can’t tell you how freeing this was.  Completely liberating.  I haven’t felt this light in ages.  It’s not that I don’t have down days, or sad moments.  It’s just that, overall, my feeling of joy is deep.  Instead of joyful moments that are situational, joy just is.  It’s so great!  So when considering my gratitude this Thanksgiving, I am most grateful for this:  a realization that joy is innate—not just in me, but in everyone.  My hope is that you can feel it, too.

The side benefit of that, of course, is that I got my voice back.  And with that, I can sing freely and joyfully.  At church, with my Songbirds group, in the car, Christmas carols, etc.  Singing has always been a happy experience for me, but now it is a joyful expression.  I promise you, there is a difference.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t continue to create sad songs…  🙂

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In Jake Armerding’s Words…

I couldn’t say it better… in the words of singer/songwriter/guitarist/fiddler, Jake Armerding:

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I love music because it can’t be conquered.  No one will ever get to the end of music, solve it or master it, although it can be dumbed down.

I love music because it is only occasionally black and white.  It deigns to be black and white only because it represents all colors, and black and white technically qualify as colors.  Music has no more desire to be black or white than it does chartreuse.

I love music because no one should make it because they feel required to.  I don’t mean musicians don’t have a responsibility to make it; rather, I mean anyone who isn’t making it because they love to, probably shouldn’t be.  Music is there to be made, or not, just as you please.  It is the opposite of bills, jogging, taxes, health insurance and laundry.

I love music because it’s such an easy way to get happy.

Music is good for you.  What some people do to music can be bad for you, but music itself is good and does not require moderation.  It is good for weekdays, the weekend, holidays, Sundays, cloudy days, sunny days, fast days, slow days, work or play, alone or with friends, home or traveling, relaxed or serious, weddings and funerals and Tuesdays, year-round.  And it is especially good for boredom.

I love music because it is free and unregulated, and anyone can make it.

I love music because it is never offended by incompetence.  It’s very patient with my pitiful efforts.

I love music because it’s like food:  after you’ve made it, you can enjoy it.  Also like food, music can be complex or simple and still be delicious.  It’s also better than food:  once you’ve made it, it can’t be used up.

I love music because no one can spoil it.  It can be insulted and abused, adulterated and prostituted, but music is never harmed for good.  It still exists in its pure form, ready and willing for somebody more humble to visit.

I love music because it is not of this earth.  It has its own dimension.  We hear ourselves in music, but we also hear something else, something we can’t quite wrap our minds around.  It is beyond us.

I love music because it is better than I am.  It is more beautiful, cleverer, stronger, truer and more creative, and I have to respect that.

But most of all, I love how music makes no sense.  Life is terrible when it is made up only of things that make sense.  In this way, music is both an escape from real life and a glimpse of what life is really all about.  Music is impractical and pointless and absolutely vital to existence.  The ultimate observer of this was, of course, Oscar Wilde, that master of the bon mot, who in the introduction to his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray declared, “All art is quite useless.”

Music would never make the traditional list of basic human needs:  food, shelter, clothing.  But just see how long you could get along without it.

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Thank You, Kelly

There are about 8 billion subjects rolling around in my head that I’d like to expound on in tonight’s post.  But I fear I won’t have any readers if I don’t limit it to just a couple.  So in an attempt to keep it short (OK, not exactly short, but not as long as it could be), I’m going to tackle the following thoughts (I will hopefully actually keep it limited here, but I am known to ramble, so apologize in advance):

1. Losing my voice teacher
2. My recent performance

Starting with #1:  Kelly Ash (look her up—she’s truly talented!), my voice teacher, has just moved to NYC to pursue her masters in vocal performance at…drum roll, please…NYU!  This is really an amazing accomplishment, if you haven’t already guessed.  NYU’s program is quite competitive, and not surprisingly to me at all, Kelly got in.  Go Kelly!  She deserves every bit of goodness coming to her, and I’m thrilled for her new opportunities.

Of course, this means I have lost my voice teacher.  I think if you’ve worked with someone over a long period of time, you might understand what this loss means.  Even if you haven’t, you can probably guess at what it means.  That said, I never thought I’d miss her as much as I do.  After all, I’m 35, and she’s only 23 (just turned 23, at that).  I might be a “young” 35 (hopefully not too young!), but she is definitely a “wise” 23.  I think partially based on my limited view of this age difference, when I first started with Kelly a year and 8 months ago, I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d be able to build the rapport I desire in a teacher.  I’d had a great rapport with my former voice teacher back in Boston (way back, like 2002!), and just didn’t think I’d find anyone that could live up to my expectations.  And I was wrong.  I was most definitely wrong.

Now, Kelly and I have never hung out.  We’ve never done things socially, or met each other’s friends, etc.  But even so, she knows where my songs come from.  She knows the personal nature of all of them.  Really, ALL of them, because I didn’t start writing until I started working with her.  And I know pieces of her personal life, as well.  She’s played me songs that weren’t quite finished, and still raw.  These things make an impact.  So when I was driving my little goodbye gift over to her apartment the day before she left, I found myself getting rather emotional.  It didn’t help that I was listening to The Head and The Heart, and was right in the middle of songs about saying goodbye, losing friends, etc.  Totally unintentional, I swear!  (Though I bought  her a copy, because I’m pretty sure she’ll love it, too.)  But I just considered how for a year and a half, I’d spent one hour a week with this person, and it was a very safe place for me.  A safe place that also happened to nurture my creativity.  Other than with my previous voice teacher, this is the only other time I’ve experienced that kind of combination.  And since I was writing, this student-teacher relationship actually made a deeper impact on me creatively.

This leads me to thought #2.  My recent performance.  As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, Kelly has pushed me to do some performances, or recitals, if you will, in the time I’ve been working with her.  She also taught a vocal workshop, with Mikaela Romero, to a handful of students (including my sister and me), and had us all perform in a showcase in June.  That’s when I lost my voice, and it didn’t go well AT ALL.  However, they were presenting another showcase in late July, and Kelly asked me to do a full set at the end of it.  The idea being that I could present many of the songs I’ve written over the year, which might not happen again for a while since she’s leaving.  And I’d get to work with a band.  A BAND!  Do you have any idea how much fun it is to work with a band?  Oh my, it’s so great!  I’ll save more on that for another post, however…

In the end, I did 11 songs, most with full band back-up, and a couple with partial band or a single instrument.  It was a ton of fun, and though I was all sorts of pitchy (left over lost voice remnants), I’m so grateful for the opportunity to collaborate with professional musicians in a jazz club-type venue (Lucid Jazz Lounge, as I’ve also mentioned in previous posts).  I didn’t do all of my songs, and I tried to choose ones with differing styles and subject matters.  I have a lot to work on with timing, stage presence, and more, but I’m still pretty thrilled that I have enough of a body of work that I could offer 11 original songs to an audience.  And I’m also really thrilled that though the audience wasn’t all there to see me, they actually stuck around for the whole thing.  What an uplifting and supportive atmosphere!

I’ve chosen two songs to embed here (taken on iphone video, so sound and picture aren’t great).  The first I call “What It Was,” and it’s a little bit jazzy.  I’m not really a jazz musician, but I wrote the first two verses in the car after going to one of Kelly’s shows (who is a jazz musician).  A happy example of being inspired by others’ art!  The second song is really taken from my experience as a high school counselor.  A job that I dearly love, and am so grateful to have.  It’s an issue that has not only cropped up frequently at my school, but is cropping up frequently around the country right now.  I don’t have all the answers on how to fix it, but it breaks my heart every time I hear about someone in this situation.  These students persevere, no matter what.  Strength in Spirit, I think, is what I would call that.  This song, however, isn’t so much about strength, but about the confusion and fear of the what’s next.  It’s called “The Unknown.”

I dedicate this post to Kelly Ash.  A songstress who has helped me find my own song, and who brings good wherever she goes.  Thank you.  I am so grateful.  🙂

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