Professional Development? Creative Development? How about just “DEVELOPMENT”?

As in a year ago, I should be working on National Boards submissions for my School Counseling professional development goals.  However, I really don’t want to.  I really don’t.  It’s not that I don’t want to become a better school counselor, I just have a major case of the “want to have funs”.  I’m not sure this is curable.

So, similar to last year’s procrastination methods, I’ve decided to write my first blog post in months.  Many, many months.  Now, I’ve not been that musically focused in months, so it’s understandable I wouldn’t post.  What would it be about???  But, that is starting to change, thankfully.  I’d rather be musically focused in my non-work life than focused on other things (aside from spiritual growth, that is), so this is definitely a step in the right direction.

About a year and a half ago (or more), I stopped taking voice and piano/theory lessons.  Partly because my two teachers had moved out of town, and partly because I needed to focus on Boards.  Well, even though I have to resubmit for Boards, I decided that a life without growing musically is not for me.  I need it to make me feel balanced and strong and excited about life.  Listening just isn’t enough.  Guitar lessons (on hiatus right now) are not enough because although I enjoy them, they don’t drive me creatively and frankly, I’m just bad at guitar!

So, back to voice I went.  My former teacher, Kelly Ash, long ago relocated to NYC, offered to teach me via Skype and I snatched that offer up immediately.  It’s awesome working with someone I already jive with, and who has lots more to teach me due to her progress through grad school and more.  We started off with a goofy goal.  Being obsessed with The Voice, I decided I wanted to prepare a song for a mock audition.  There’s no way I’d actually audition, but I wanted to believe I had a song I prepared well enough to audition.  It’s been a good goal–watching The Voice and listening carefully to the coach feedback, etc.  We’ve worked on a few of songs with this in mind:

Isabella, by Dia Frampton (first runner up during the first season of The Voice)

Hold On, by Sarah McLachlan (really challenging, and sad, but empowering to sing, plus she’s my hero)

Time After Time, by Cyndi Lauper (are there any women who haven’t been able to relate to this at some point in their lives?)

Don’t Cry, by Ann Vriend (I just discovered this Canadian artist and am in love with this extremely difficult to sing song.  It’s given me quite the challenge!)

Kelly and I “meet” twice a month, which keeps it affordable.  And I have something to work on that excites me and requires me to analyze songs a little more than normal.  Once I feel like the Ann Vriend song has been worked through enough, we’re going back to writing.  I’m rusty and out of shape in this category, but ready for the challenge.  I wrote a song for my dad over Christmas (thanks for requiring a homemade gift, Dad!) and it felt great, despite my lack of ability to accompany myself.

Now I’m on a mission to get to Nashville and listen to a whole lot of music.  Or attend a songwriting workshop.  It’s possible I’m being influenced by the current ABC show, Nashville (it’s just so good!).  🙂  But, I’d also be happy heading to a workshop in NY.  Or LA.  Sometime next year–maybe spring.  All I know is it makes me feel good to be thinking about these things, and making non-concrete plans to improve a craft I truly enjoy but need to work hard at to get better.

Despite the best intentions to focus on professional matters, putting creative flow/practice on hiatus sort of defeats the purpose.  That matters just as much, if not more.  I must build time for it, just as I must build time for spiritual study and exercise.  In the end, everything we do to grow and progress cycles around and feeds the other areas of our lives.

Country Lovin’, or, Country Sometimes-Lovin’

Lately I’ve been letting myself enjoy a little country music.  I met someone this winter who told me they only listened to country.  In Seattle?  What?  But it reminded me that once upon a time I was quite the fan.  20ish years ago.  I hardly ever turn it on these days (aside from playing the “Country Strong” soundtrack on repeat for about 3 months when it came out), but I wanted to see if I still liked it.  Turns out I do, but I have my limits.  I’m pretty sure a true country fan would not consider me one!  When it comes to contemporary country, I prefer the crossover style—is that what it’s called?  Basically, I tend to like my country with a dose of pop.  🙂  But as far as what attracts me to it at all…  I won’t psychoanalyze the genre, but we could use a little more of the simplicity country offers in our lives, I think.

And dang, are there some hilarious lyrics!  I’ve been appreciating these almost as much as the singable quality that so much of country has.  Here’s a quick sample of lines that made me laugh out loud when I heard them:

• “Yeah, I love him, wanna have his babies.  Only problem is he hates me.”
•  “We could be honeymoonin’ south of the border, if only he’d drop that restraining order.”
• “Y’know, I wish I had Bubba’s girl.  I want Bubba’s girl.  Why can’t I find a cousin like that?”
• “Girl, you make my speakers go boom-boom.”
• “5-1-5-0, somebody call the po-po…”
• “He can’t even bait a hook, he can’t even skin a buck, he don’t know who Jack Daniels is, ain’t ever drove a truck.”

While these lyrics completely entertain me, I don’t always love them in a live context.  I went to a Blake Shelton concert this spring; I really enjoy his music, but realized I’m not as big a fan of his live show.  Part of it I loved—the part where it was just him and his guitar singing his old songs and not baiting the audience’s redneck attitudes…  And I loved that he did covers of non-country songs, that he opened with Footloose, that his first opener was Dia Frampton, who he coached last year on The Voice and who is totally poppy and adorable.  And I loved that he didn’t wear Wranglers and a Stetson.  😉  I didn’t love the crazy drunk audience, I didn’t love how much he egged them on about that (I was extra sensitive to this because I was sitting in front of underage kids who were severely wasted and had to get escorted out because they couldn’t hold their alcohol-both gross and concerning).  I didn’t like his crowd-pleasing second opener, Justin Moore (at all!!!) due to his extreme redneck attitude.

Essentially, I discovered I should probably stick with bands like Lady Antebellum, Sugarland, or even Tim McGraw & Faith Hill if I’m going to country shows in the future.  This girl has her redneck limits!

How about you?  Are you a country fan?  What draws you to it?  What are your favorite songs?  Or are you one (like my sister) who can’t stand it and will refuse to be subjected to it?  Would love to hear your thoughts!  🙂

If nothing else, I hope you enjoy this song–I find it totally catchy and hilarious!

I’ll Sleep In a Week

I’m waiting for iMovie to upload all of my iPhoto video clips so I can do some editing. While I’m at it, how about a blog post about what I’m editing?

For the past 7 months, my mind has been absorbed in National Boards. This is a certification process for teachers, but counselors can submit, too. This is no easy feat, I’ve learned. I’d heard from many a teacher that it’s quite hard, that there’s a 40% passing rate for first tries, and so you should be ready to submit a round two the next year. And I heard from various sources that the counseling cert is even harder than the teacher’s. No one seems to know why. Regardless, all of that info appears to be correct.

While Boards has been on my mind since Aug/Sept., the majority of the heavy work has been done in February and March. It’ll all be in the mail on March 31, the absolute last possible postmark date, but I won’t know if I passed until Dec. I completed one draft this fall, and had 2 more drafts started in Dec/January, but didn’t even start the 4^th draft until Feb. I did lots of filming in Dec/Jan, but didn’t have a video I could use for one entry until March. They tell you to start early. I heard it over and over. I knew I should. I sort of did. But then I just felt so unmotivated. And discouraged. And didn’t totally understand what they were looking for. The edit suggestions I received made me think I had no idea what I was doing.

In fact, that was true, to some extent. It’s really hard to start early when you don’t completely understand what they expect. It wasn’t until the February cohort meeting that my mind really made sense of things. FEBRUARY! That’s not early. Anyway, I feel that my last 2 entries are much stronger than my first two, because I started from a point of understanding expectations. I’m not sure that completing drafts any earlier really would’ve been helpful, after all. However, reading through the 300 pages of instruction (seriously!) probably would’ve been. I ended up reading it piecemeal—and more comprehensively the closer I got to deadline. While the instructions can be confusing, reading them more thoroughly before I started gathering evidence, filming myself, etc., definitely would’ve made the process smoother.

If you’re considering Boards, consider doing Take One first. Pretty sure I would be much less stressed if I’d done that. And find someone to do it with. Thankfully, a colleague is also going through this. While we don’t get together to work, it’s helpful to have someone else to discuss the confusion with, share ideas with, etc. And realize that writing for Boards is nothing like writing for grad school–this is actually harder in many ways, I think partly because there isn’t a weekly class to report to.

And now I’m almost done, minus the assessment in late June. I will have my life back, which will include sleep, movies, sleep, exercise, sleep, making plans for Paris, and hopefully more music. I hope to pass, but I will understand if I don’t. That said, I spent months assuming I would not be one of the 40%, and then got a pep talk that turned my thought around. As a friend pointed out, a pessimist and an optimist will both die. But the lives they live in the meantime make all the difference. Um, good point. 🙂

If I pass Boards and get that WA state bonus (the following year), I will happily commit to a yoga pass. This editing/studying makes for a far too sedentary lifestyle!

On the agenda for next year… singing. I miss it.

Are You Out There?

Here it is the end of February, and I am just finishing up (tomorrow) the end of a week’s vacation. Vacation from my school job, and vacation from Seattle’s gray, rainy days. In order to have a successful vacation in February I believe one must leave the gray, or spend it with good people. The perfect combination, however, is to do both. And this is what I got to do. Thank you LA, and thank you to all my peeps (family and friends) who live down here and make it that much easier for me to have a happy vacay. I love you, both the city and the (my) people in it!

Happy, float on a cloud, love of LA aside, I thought I’d take a few minutes to discuss my bittersweet feelings about the technological changes/advances that bring music to the world in new and amazing ways. Overall, I love many of these changes. I love that people can have success through YouTube (Justin Bieber and that Friday song girl aside, because seriously, I don’t get that.). I love that home studios allow creative people without the means to hire professionals to create something close to their hearts & release it to the world if they so desire. I love that blogs bring new music to people all over the world, and that teenagers can start nurturing their dreams without waiting to be discovered by some talent agent (not that the discovery hurts!). I love that artists have more control over their music, overall, & should they not get signed (or choose not to sign), they can probably still make it work if they have a strong enough fanbase (or so it seems). And I love that I don’t have to carry CD’s all over the place in order to have a ton of music with me in the car, on the plane, etc.

Here’s what I don’t love. I don’t love that with the CD scene heading out the work that artists put into their covers/designs, etc., largely goes unnoticed. I actually like reading through those, strange as it sounds. Especially as a teenager—I loved knowing what my favorite artists and albums were all about. I don’t love that I no longer have DJ’s I can rely on to bring me music. I know that sounds funny to the younger crowd, but as I grew up in the 80’s/90’s, I actually have a connection to these people.

See Dar Williams’ song, “Are You Out There?” for a little more understanding of what I mean: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl-i15ieG7I

I left Seattle for college in Illinois, but everytime I came home I was eager to turn on The Mountain. The Mountain brought me the music I loved—adult contemporary, but with just a smattering of rocky Pearl Jam, some classic rock like Fleetwood Mac, a little Steely Dan (which I actually like), but mostly, it kept me hearing new artists that I completely connected with—Sarah McLachlan, Brandi Carlile, David Gray, Ray LaMontagne, Adele, Mumford & Sons, Norah Jones, India Arie, etc. They had (have) a show called Sunday Brunch that would take it to an even mellower level, and I learned a lot of music that way. And they had New Music Tuesdays where one of my favorite DJ’s, Shawn Stewart, would spend part of the day bringing the listeners new music—either a new artist, a new song, a new album, etc. She gave me little facts and stories that kept me engaged, and I loved that.

And then she got fired. And the station changed. Or rather, the station changed, and then she got fired. First one of the other favorite DJ’s, Marty Riemer, got fired. And the station changed. And then it changed back. And then he got rehired. And then it changed again. And he stayed. But she got fired. What is happening?! And why am I relating this to the change in technology?

I don’t really know if there’s a connection, but I suspect there must be. It seems to me that with the easy access to music everywhere there’s a much lower demand for good radio stations. Although it was my understanding that The Mountain had many loyal followers, the umbrella company (Entercom) chose to go to a new format, where classic rock became the norm and modern music became the rarity. More classic rock? Really? Because we didn’t already have 4 other classic rock stations in the city??? Seriously, how is that a good idea? That aside, I can only assume that this comes out of desperation. Perhaps they think that the only people still listening to radio (satellite aside, that is) are people from the classic rock generation? Don’t get me wrong—I love me some good classic rock. But I had FOUR OTHER STATIONS TO CHOOSE FROM!

The Mountain was different. I bragged about it when I lived in Boston. I missed it when I lived in St. Louis. My friends from other cities would comment on the great radio station when they visited me in Seattle. I looked for something similar every time I visited a new city. When I came back to Seattle I always felt more at home just because no other station made me as happy. And now it’s gone. I feel sad about this. And in that bittersweet way, I am thankful for my iPod, Pandora & YouTube to turn to. But I really miss my DJ’s.

Ramblings

Here it is almost Thanksgiving, and I haven’t blogged since August.  I guess you could say I haven’t been inspired.  Or you could say I’ve been busy.  Both are true, though I’ve been inspired in other ways, just not necessarily the desire to blog way.  For a while I thought, “I’ll blog after I get that one song finished.” And then that song was finished.  And then I thought, “I’ll blog after I get that one song recorded.”  And since that’s still not done, I guess that could be my excuse.  But in reality, I just haven’t felt like it.

But here’s the thing…  I may not be the best writer in the world, but I do enjoy writing.  And I also think it’s important to flex those muscles, especially if one wants to continue writing in any form.  Whether I have to write for work (I really don’t do much of that), or for songs (I don’t have to, but sometimes I like to), or for some other unlisted reason, if I don’t practice, I don’t get better.  Or, I get worse!  And that’s just unnecessary.

So blogging it is.  Since it’s the season of gratitude, I did consider writing another gratitude-focused blog as I did last year.  But I don’t want to repeat myself.  So, in this case, I’m going to focus on music.  It is supposedly a songwriting blog, after all.  And by songwriting I mean music in general.  One must be liberal in their translations when it comes to artistic things, right?!  🙂

First I will mention that I have a song in the works.  That is, I have a lot of partial songs in the works, but I’m not being that proactive about them.  But this one is my personal favorite right now.  It’s a song that I find really entertaining.  As in, it makes me laugh.  Those who’ve heard me play around with it a little have for the most part given me the same feedback, so that makes me excited about it, as I know not everyone shares my sense of humor!  An acquaintance of mine who’s in a local band here in Seattle, The Local Strangers, has generously offered to help me record it.  And, he helped me with the final pieces, too.  As always, it’s much easier for me when there’s someone else to work with, and I’m really grateful when someone who knows what they’re doing is willing to work with me, who doesn’t have that same knowledge!  Unfortunately, we haven’t recorded it yet as both of our schedules have been crazy busy.  But, hopefully after the New Year, and then there will definitely be a blog post!  Watch out, world!  I have a song to take you by storm!

OK, not really…

So that’s the news on the songwriting front.  In other music fronts, it occurs to me that it’s time to update the list of super-awesome music out there.  I don’t do that too often—I’m not a reviewer, after all—but I was just making some mixes for a friend who wanted new music and it occurred to me that I have a ton of music that I’ve been introduced to over the last few years.  So many new artists!  Some new to me, and some new to the scene, and yes, some of it is definitely Seattle-centric.  But either way, it’s a great reminder that creativity is ever-occurring, and inspiration is truly unending.  Hopefully some of these artists will inspire you, if you’re feeling that creative lull:

The Civil Wars

Allen Stone

The Local Strangers

Hot Bodies In Motion (I’m pretty sure that’s ironic!  But their music is great, regardless)

The Head and the Heart (yes, they’ve been mentioned on here before)

Edie Carey

The Swell Season (not that new anymore, but still worth checking out this duo from the movie “Once”)

Stacey Kent

Kevin Long

Ivan & Alyosha

Sam and Ruby

Alice Smith

Melissa McClelland (on Sarah McLachlan’s tour last year—saw the show twice and she’s excellent)

Quiet Company

Javier Colon (ok, so he was the winner of “The Voice,” and I’m not ashamed to admit is version of “Fix You” by Coldplay totally made me cry)

Duffy

A Fine Frenzy

St. Paul de Vence

Tara Kelly Kearns (OK, so that’s my sister, but she’s amazing and should she record anything beyond the song we wrote together, “Frayed,” I promise you would agree!  And if that happens, there will be an immediate blog post.)

Discovering Amos Lee

So, why have I never been to an Amos Lee concert until tonight?  Or, perhaps the better question is, why have I never owned an Amos Lee album until tonight?  (downloading all four albums as I type)  Thanks to my good friend, Jill, I have finally discovered Amos Lee.

I know I’m behind on the Amos Lee bandwagon, and it’s not like I’ve never heard him before, but wow, what a show!  The man is great on stage, even in an environment like the Chateau Ste. Michelle Winery, where half the audience is hammered and has no awareness of how loud they are to the people around them.  Even then, he still commanded the stage.  Great music, great lyrics, great in-between songs, great to his band,.  The only not great comment I have is about the hat he chose to wear, because it covered up his great face and was a little too Seattle for me (yes, I live in Seattle, but sometimes I get tired of Seattle style).  But I got over the hat business the minute he started singing and playing.  I have a new crush, in that harmless crushing on a famous person I’ll never meet way.  🙂

Since I am now a devoted fan, I made it my business to Wikipedia him.  The man used to be a school teacher.  Swoony Chelsea.  I’m glad he made the music career happen so we can all be blessed by that amazing talent, but the school counselor in me believes that anyone who can work with students deserves some serious props!  There’s a rumor he taught special ed–can anyone verify that?  I would get extra swoony if that’s the case…

His songs are full of stories, experiences, and feeling, but also have some great beats and grooves.  He sometimes emulates 70’s sounds, but they’re his own.  His voice is unique, and he had the audience laughing at times.  He let one of his back-up singers be featured as the main voice on this hilarious song about “Angel Latte” (that guy was amazing!), and he chose to do “Fat-Bottomed Girls” by Queen as the second to last encore song.  Awesome!

If you don’t know Amos Lee, look him up.  I’ve embedded a video of his newest hit (on the Ellen show, because that’s a two-in-one treat!).  Listen to the lyrics–there’s more to it than you first might hear…and then go buy or download an album if you don’t already have one.  Just do it.  Immediately.

Reminder to Self: Life Is Not Just About the School Year

OMG, I haven’t posted anything since APRIL!  April.  Wow.  Where has the time gone???

Life gets really busy in a high school during the spring, and since I’m a school counselor, I will have to use that as my excuse.  This year was no exception, but considering the spring I’ve had, I plan to NOT make it the rule, either.  That being said, I’m pretty sure I have lots of stories that might make for new songs over the summer.  What a year.  Which will be done in a couple weeks.  Good riddance!

Yes, exactly

But, of course there’s more than just school to the year.  There is music.  There is always music.  Thank the lord.

This year, aside from the amazing music scene we are currently blessed with in Seattle (see The Head and The Heart, The Local Strangers, Virgin Islands, Ivan & Alyosha, Hot Bodies in Motion, Benjamin Doerr, and lately Justin Froese – my goodness, that’s a lot of awesome!), I also had the opportunity to sing at two weddings, and at a couple of church-oriented events.  I really love these opportunities for expression, as they force me to be humble and look beyond my own skill.  They are about blessing others, and as I’ve been trying to work with this idea anyway for the past couple of years, it’s really nice when you’re presented with opportunities to use gifts you’ve been given to do just that.  And of course, when you get to be a part of blessing others, you can’t help but be blessed as well.  Mutuality, reciprocation, or whatever you’d like to call it.  Regardless of the chosen term, it is a beautiful thing.

For the wedding of a dear friend in April, I was given some fabulous details about their relationship from both the bride and groom.  I used it to create a song that is very personalized, and gave me a lot of joy to write.  Because the bride and groom laugh a lot together, I tried to write something that would capture their humor.  It was a lot of fun to do, and they seemed to enjoy it quite a bit during the wedding.  Mission accomplished, thanks to the wonderful stories they sent me (and the wonderful personalities they both have)!  I’ve pasted in a very unprofessional video link below—the lyrics won’t mean much to you without knowing the bride and groom, but hopefully the spirit of their relationship will shine through.

Thinking about starting a personalized wedding song business on the side.  Thoughts?  😉

OK, not really, but it is a fun adventure when given the chance.  Now that most of my friends are married, I don’t think there will be too many more, but keeping my mind open!

With that, wishing you all a summer of goodness.  You deserve it.

New Song! New Song!

My sister and I have a song for your downloading pleasure! But more on that later…

Lots has been happening around here and in my life, and it’s taken me away from blogging. No surprise there! But, after quite a few months away from not producing any new songs, I am happy to say that they are coming again. Now that’s a reason to blog. Woohoo!

Unfortunately, I haven’t suddenly developed instrumental skills despite my lack of practice. But I have felt more motivated to get things going again. I was missing the creative side of my life, and thanks in part to the need to write a wedding song for early April, I was pushed forward. I also give credit to time spent with Kelly Ash, my former voice teacher, at the end of December in Seattle, and also in NYC over my school’s February break. She helped open up some dams that were blocking me, and it propelled me forward to finish the wedding song. As well, she connected me with a songwriting coach who works out of NYC, and provides fantastic feedback on whatever song I’m currently working (and gives me a reason to keep creating so I have something to submit).

As I’ve mentioned before, having a community of artists is extremely helpful and beneficial to one when pursuing anything artistic. Now, I don’t really run in an artistic crowd (and I like the balance of what I have!), but I do have the privilege of knowing and/or working with a few who are doing something creative for a living. And of course I have my family, or, more specifically, my sister, Tara Kelly Kearns. She is a singer and songwriter in her own right (and a former amazing karaoke host—seriously!), and it seems we’ve found a little bit of a groove in creating together. That is, we’re very sporadic with how often we work together, but when we do we seem to complement each other fairly well. What a nice realization!

So Tara and I wrote a song called “Frayed.” I started it with lyrics and a melody, Tara came in and changed the sound from jazzy to folky/bluegrassy (sort of), and added a few more lyrics and the bridge melody. Justin Froese, one of Tara’s good friends and an amazing musician and producer, helped arrange and produce it with Tara, as well as played all the instruments on the recording. Voila! We have a song!

For those of you who know I have a lot of sad-ish songs, please note that I was not actually sad when writing this. But it’s sad. Oh, yes, it’s definitely sad.

Please go to the musican-friendly website, Bandcamp, to download at a “pay what you want” rate. You can listen to the song directly from the website, but it would be awesome if you would download it as well. It’s free! And then you’ll “get” to listen to it over and over and over and over… OK, or just download it because it’s fun for us to see how many people have downloaded our song. 🙂 It’s all very exciting!

And hopefully just the beginning.

Lost In My Mind

Lost in my mind.  There’s a song with this title by Seattle band The Head and the Heart.  It might be my favorite song on their self-titled debut album.  It’s hard to pick!  It does seem to be one that sticks in my head more frequently than others.  As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve always been a lyrics girl.  It’s very possible you may win me over when you pour your heart out into a song (or, for that matter, an email).  There are reasons I’m in love with the music of Ray LaMontagne, Sarah McLachlan, David Gray, India Arie, Matt Kearney, Ingrid Michaelson…it’s an endless list, really.  Basically, just open up your vulnerable soul, and I’m yours.

So maybe that’s a little dramatic (ok, it’s definitely dramatic), but I do think the music I’m attracted to speaks to my personality.  Of course, most people’s personalities dictate their music choices, at least to some extent.  But lately I’ve been reflecting on the people I’m drawn to, and I’m seeing quite a similarity between them and the artists/songs I appreciate.  This really shouldn’t be that surprising!  But it’s a semi-new realization when put in these terms.  Perhaps I feel such a strong connection with music because I prefer strong connections with people.  I don’t have surface friendships.  Of course I have fun with friends, but if we’re real friends, I probably know a lot about you and vice versa.  Most likely we have shared experiences with each other that were painful.  We have probably shown vulnerability in each other’s presence.  Or at the very least, we have discussed things we feel sensitive or insecure about.

Thinking about this idea further, it occurs to me that it makes perfect sense I’m a lyrics person.  I do get lost in my mind, so-to-speak.  But I often want to share whatever’s in there eventually.  And music allows me to do that, either through venting my emotion-of-the-moment by blaring a song sung by another, or through writing my own song.

I often think of music as a way to connect.  And to me, connection goes much farther than, “Oh cool, we both love that song!”  Music gives us an opportunity to understand each other better.  To process our own thoughts and feelings better.  To help us move forward so that we can be open to connecting to new people.  When we feel ready to do that, we can break down boundaries, open ourselves up, and enrich this multicultural world we live in.  Lyrics, of course, aren’t necessary to achieve that.  But for me, they make it that much deeper.  (well, depending on the lyrics!)

I can tell that I’m being pulled to connect more in my life.  I’ve noticed my desire to really know an album has increased in the last few months (a habit I’ve lost quite a bit since just after college).  I’ve been singing my heart out to whatever’s playing in the car.  (I must admit that includes the very singable “Country Strong” soundtrack!)  And most of all, I’ve been writing again.  It feels connected.  It feels good.  I’m happy.

Can I Blame It On The Weather?

Today I stayed home.  Well, actually, I woke up to my alarm at 5:20.  I dozed.  I got a phone call from my school district somewhere near 5:30 that we were running 1.5 hours late due to snowy conditions.  I went back to sleep, gratefully.  I got a text from a tenant that her ceiling fan was leaking.  I got ready.  I walked out the door and checked her situation.  Not good.  I spoke to another tenant with the same issue on the way out, and ran much later than I wanted to.  But, I eventually left for work.  I started meeting with juniors for our annual “junior blitz” (I won’t bore you with the details, but these are important check-ins).  I made a call about the leaky roof.  I got a call that the basement was flooding fast.  I went home after an hour at work, and have been home ever since.  I was either waiting for people to show up and fix things I can’t fix, or waiting for calls.  It was rather monotonous, but had to be done.  Blitz on hold, unfortunately.  I watched “The Man From Snowy River” (love that movie!).  I Facebooked.  I emailed.  I had lots of time to practice.  Did I?  No.  I did not.

Oh, goodness.  Big sigh.  So this is a blog post of frustration.  With myself, that is.  (don’t worry, I won’t make this a habit!)  I have moments where I feel completely inspired and want to write (or rather, complete) a song.  These moments usually occur when I’m nowhere near an instrument.  But in the end, that’s just an excuse.  I’m well aware of it.  My guitar calluses are virtually gone.  I’ve gone to my lessons, but I haven’t been practicing.  Sometimes it’s legitimate (ie:  last week I was out literally every night of the week from Sunday to this past Monday).  Oftentimes it’s just a lack of motivation.  Or is that inspiration?  Or very possibly just plain laziness.  Yes, I can own up to that.  I know I have that tendency.  Not proud, people!  Not proud.

So that said, I have two instruments I’m trying to learn.  I can’t do much with the songwriting until I do.  I have random verses and melodies running through my brain.  Sometimes they make it into the iphone’s voice memo recorder.  But there they stay.  Why is this so hard???  Overall, life feels good, so I’m pretty sure it’s not about that.  Something about coming home makes me just want to turn on the TV.  Again, NOT PROUD.

Kelly (former voice teacher, aka songwriting partner) was in town over the New Year, and we got together for a couple hours.  That was great.  Although we just got together for coffee, I felt inspired to do more with music as that obviously filled much of the conversation.  But then she left, and I’m still not doing anything.  Must break the mesmerism!

So the obvious answer would be to find another songwriting partner.  Sort of like a workout partner, right?  (another downfall of mine.)  But for many of us, we’re often more likely to work out if we have a partner.  It appears I also may operate that way for songwriting.  So for these next couple of weeks, please wish me well in my endeavor (ability?  desire?) to get motivated and inspired, and then to actually do something about it.  Verbal wishes unnecessary—I’ll take your good thoughts from afar!  🙂  And am sending good thoughts to you, as well.

Happy New Year to all!

P.S.  I also haven’t been motivated (or had much time) to do a blog entry lately.  So this may be considered a step in the right direction.  Maybe.  🙂